Oh, the frustrations of being an England football supporter. The Three Lions have been class during this international window, going down swinging 3-2 against world champs Spain before winning their next three games at an aggregate of 12-0.
Oh, the frustrations of being an England football supporter. The Three Lions have been class during this international window, going down swinging 3-2 against world champs Spain before winning their next three games at an aggregate of 12-0. Thomas Tuchel will be pleased with the way the side are positioned going into the rest of this competition. But every thumping victory is like a twisting of the knife into Tuchel’s unforgivable World Cup semifinal tactics. I’m sorry, I don’t want to be that guy (I’m not even an England fan). But I was weaned on the Premier League and need to call it out. This is the most physically imposing, dynamic England side that I have probably ever seen. Why did they forget that when they had glory at their fingertips? Phew, I have had my mini rant. In any event, here are my player ratings for last night’s 3-0 procession against the Czech Republic.
GK: Jordan Pickford- 6/10
May well have been auditioning for a Broadway play. I know that Tuchel has fashioned a side that can dominate games, but that was ridiculous. I can’t remember a single thing he did (which isn’t the worst thing for a keeper). 48th international clean sheet for the Everton shot-stopper.
RB: Trent Alexander-Arnold- 8/10
Those are the games that Alexander-Arnold is made for. The Real Madrid fullback was in his element last night, given free rein to push forward with little defensive responsibility at all. Was a menace all evening, often drifting all the way across the pitch. Looks jacked too (by the way).
CB: Jarrell Quansah- 7/10
The Leverkusen man showed off his versatility by seamlessly slipping into centre-half alongside Marc Guehi. Looked commanding going forward and athletic going backwards.
CB: Marc Guehi- 5/10
Still a little concerning. I really think that the entire City fiasco has destabilized Guehi. Come to think of it, he was a little bit wobbly in City’s 5-3 win over Sunderland. In any event, Guehi was once again the weak link in the defensive line, caught in possession on a few occasions. Dominated the aerial battles but would have really imploded against stronger opposition.
LB: Lewis Hall- 8/10
Watching a fit Lewis Hall is very much like watching a fit Luke Shaw (well, a fit Luke Shaw from ten years ago). The Newcastle fullback is fast making the left-back position all his own, acting as a constant outlet for anyone with a progressive pass in their arsenal. He had some clumsy interchanges with Eze (you can tell they haven’t played a huge amount together). But sent in a high, looping corner to assist Kane’s 2nd. He also provided great cover in defence, mopping up a few times in more central areas.
CM: Elliot Anderson- 8/10
The fastest man to ever reach 20 caps for the Three Lions; Elliot Anderson is the real deal. Sure, he still needs to find his shooting boots if he wants to reach the very ultimate level. But he was magisterial in the middle of the park, showing off his vision and incisive passing with several defence-splitting balls. He was instrumental in England’s 2nd goal, deliciously whipping the ball into Rogers who expertly guided the ball towards Kane.
CM: Myles Lewis-Skelly- 7/10
The Arsenal man was completely anonymous in the first stanza, overshadowed by midfield compatriot Anderson. He came into his own in the 2nd half, finding a little more space to showcase a bit more razzle-dazzle. Used a Zidane-esque pirouette to start one magnificent counterattack.
AM: Jude Bellingham- 8/10
An absolute Rolls-Royce of a footballer. Didn’t score or assist last night but didn’t need to. He was a colossus in the middle of the park, using his power and dynamism to propel England forward at every turn. His one rapier-like switch to Morgan Rogers was a thing of Modric-level beauty.
LW: Ebrahim Eze- 6/10
One of the more disappointing players on the field. It’s hard to be too critical of a player who just won his first Premier League title. But what happened to the unpredictable livewire who played for Palace a few years back? It seems that Arteta has coached the maverick out of him. Picked up a bit in the 2nd half but was too careless in possession.
RW: Morgan Rogers- 8/10
One of Rogers’ best performances in an England shirt to date. The mega-money Chelsea signing showed tremendous industry playing down that right-hand channel, clearly benefitting from Trent’s swashbuckling forays. His cushioned side-foot assist for Kane’s first goal was something straight out of a FIFA game.
STR: Harry Kane- 9/10
Kane delivered on his big night, scoring his 92nd and 93rd England goals while matching Peter Shilton’s all-time England appearance record of 125 matches. Kane started the game in typically nomadic mode, doing most of his best work in his own half (he appeared to be deeper than Trent in that opening half-hour). But he was the man who provoked the rout, whipping in a cross only for Coufal to bungle the ball into this own net. Honestly, it was a finish Kane would have been proud of. Kane applied the finishing touches to a glorious team move for his opener before capping off his night with a textbook header.
Subs
James Garner on in 63rd minute for Anderson- 6/10
Looked tidy on the ball and effortlessly slotted into the left-back role in the latter stages. I wonder how that will work against one of the superior possession-based sides?
Jarrad Branthwaite on in 63rd minute for Guehi- 6/10
Came on for Guehi and barely had a thing to do. Slotted in well but won’t have many easier substitute appearances.
Morgan Gibbs White on in 73rd minute for Lewis Hall- 5/10
Barely made an impression despite England monopolizing possession.
Rio Ngumoha on in 73rd minute for Jude Bellingham- 6/10
Looked threatening in his little cameo.
Dominic Calvert-Lewin on in 82nd minute for Harry Kane- n/a
