Top 5 Masters Meltdowns

Composed and recorded by David Loggins in 1981, the Masters theme is an ode to tranquillity.  Unfortunately, things have not always been as tranquil on the golf course.  The Masters has been home to some of the most shocking meltdowns in golfing history.  In fact, I would argue that the Masters is has seen more dramatic final-round collapse than any other golfing event.  The fact that it takes place at Augusta National every year brings with it a certain kind of pressure: every player is constantly rehearsing these holes in their head.  Moreover, players can’t escape their Augusta trauma, forced to relive it 12 months later. 

With the year’s first major just a week away, I have complied my personal list of the five worst Masters meltdowns.  I have opted to not included little individual moments (Scott Hoch missing a two-footer to win the 1989 edition feels more like a glitch than a full-blown meltdown).  I have instead opted for players who experienced at least a few holes of extended torment.  I don’t know if there’s some sadistic impulse in me, but I do get a bit of a kick reliving these horror-shows.  Maybe it’s just comforting to know that multimillionaire sportsmen can also have crummy days at the office.  Sure, they are still earning ridiculous sums of money during their ‘mares’; but the world gets to remember them forever.  Bring on the pain. 

5. Kenny Perry (2009)- Painful Truths

One of the most well-liked golfers of his generation, Kenny Perry was a somewhat overlooked trailblazer.  The affable Kentuckian won 22 of his 26 professional wins after the age of 40, showcasing golf’s unique ability to reward late bloomers.  But he would probably exchange all those wins for one more shot at the 2009 Masters.  Perry- who at 48 years of age would have become the oldest winner of the event- was two up with just two holes to play.  But a mental fog descended and the American completely capitulated, missing both the 17^th and 18^th greens with short approaches (people talk about putting yips; Perry has a case of approach yips).  That bladed chip on the 17^th wouldn’t have looked out of place in your Sunday foursomes match.  Angel Cabrera would go on to take the title, but this will forever be remembered as a Perry disasterclass.  Perry was philosophical in defeat, basically saying he lacked the BMT to execute in those high-pressure situations (refreshingly honest for a PGA Tour pro). 

4. Rory McIlroy (2011)- Duck-hooking to 80

Now that he has one of those sought-after jackets in his locker, it feels much less painful to reminisce about Rory’s past Masters trauma.  Speaking of trauma, Freud himself would have had his work cut out trying to get to the bottom of this collapse.  Rory led the tournament by four strokes going into Sunday’s final round.  Still leading through 63 holes, 23-year-old Rory crumbled spectacularly on the back nine.  His duck-hook off the 10^th tee took him to parts of Augusta that no television coverage had ever captured.  He walked away with a triple-bogey on the 10^th, setting in motion a series of mind-slips that saw him careering out of contention.  His round morphed into a rubbernecker’s delight, and he would have to settle for a final round of 80 (and a tie for 15^th).  Schwartzel won in scintillating fashion, birding the last four holes to show how the back-nine can be played.  McIlroy didn’t lock himself in his room like he couldn’t get over his ex, instead going out and winning the US Open by eight strokes just two months later. 

3. Curtis Strange (1985)- Strange by name, Strange in contention

The only word I can think for to describe Curtis Strange’s 1985 Masters challenge is, well, strange.  The future back-to-back US Open champion seemingly put himself out of contention with a disastrous opening round of 80.  Fast-forward and he was somehow leading by two on Sunday!  Strange tried to apply pressure on the reachable par-five 13^th, airmailing his four-wood approach into the heart of Rae’s Creek.  He added insult to injury with his next bone-headed decision, chunking a wedge from the water (Jean van de Velde maybe remembered this moment when he chose not to hit out of the Barry Burn all those years later).  He found the water again on the par-5 15^th, essentially bringing his challenge to a screeching halt.  Bernhard Langer was the beneficiary this time around, winning the first of two Green Jackets. 

2. Greg Norman (1996)- Faldo nabs Great White Shark

When somebody mentions the phrase ‘Masters meltdown’, Greg Norman is the man who instinctively comes to mind.  Norman was the reigning king of major implosions, winning just two of golf’s biggest tournaments in his heyday (he should have won seven or eight).  But nothing will beat his painful collapse during the 1996 Masters Tournament.  Norman started the round with a six-stroke lead and appeared destined to finally end his Augusta hoodoo (he had six previous top-5 finishes).  But three straight bogeys between 9 and 11 erased his lead.  The Great White Shark then sought comfort in his natural habitat, dunking the ball in the drink on the 12^th.  Nick Faldo- who sealed his legendary status on the back of Norman misery- just kept things nice and simple.  Norman ended up shooting 78 in one of the cringiest car crashes of a round you will ever see.  The sight of him falling to his knees on the 15^th is forever etched in Masters folklore. 

1.Jordan Spieth (2016)- Boy wonder’s Augusta blunder

For me, this trumps Norman’s 1996 disaster.  Norman had a history of painful major meltdowns: it was almost his specialty.  Spieth never had anywhere near the same amount of baggage, winning his first two majors in the previous year’s campaign.  With his incredible approach-play and almost supernatural short-game, Spieth was preternaturally suited to Augusta.  He won in wire-to-wire fashion in 2015 and looked poised to become the first man in history- in any major-  to go wire-to-wire in back-to-back majors.  He led by five strokes at the turn, and I would have bet my house- and other people’s houses- on him sealing the deal.  We all would have been sleeping in a caravan park that night.  Back-to-back bogeys on the 10^th and 11^th were troubling (but not fatal).  The 12^th was where he really unravelled.  He botched his tee-shot into the drink and compounded the misery with an inexplicable drop-and-chunk.  The net result: a quadruple bogey.  Danny Willett, of all people, swept in to pick up the pieces.  I just thought that Spieth looked nailed-on to dominate Augusta for the next decade.  He also wears his heart on his sleeve, moaning and gesticulating with every brain-fart.  That makes him relatable in this day-and-age of soulless automatons, like you’re watching your brother or mate having the worst day of his life.