I had my worries for City following their humbling defeat to Arsenal in the Community shield. Maresca was dealing with a mammoth brain-drain, as decorated treble-winners abandoned the club as if it were the Titanic.
City assert their dominance at Selhurst Park
But they were sublime on Friday night, destroying Palace 4-1 in a performance that wouldn’t have looked out of place during peak-Guardiola. Haaland started the rout with a brilliantly cushioned header, putting to bed all that Samson talk. Twinkly toed virtuoso Ryan Cherki made it 2-0 just after the break, scything through the Palace defence like he was on Strictly Come Dancing: Palace Edition. Palace immediately pulled one back, as Pino’s freekick pinballed off the crossbar and then Donnarumma before finding the net. Cherki wasn’t in the mood to share the spotlight though, making it 3-1 with a deflected long-range effort. Haaland would wrap up the scoring in the final ten minutes, latching onto some clever work by Foden before completing his obligatory brace. The mass exodus of players could be a blessing in disguise for City, heralding a more youthful, vibrant future. Anderson was magnificent in the middle pf the park while new signing Bouaddi slipped into the system as if he was a seasoned campaigner. Now imagine throwing Gakpo and Enzo into that meat-grinder. Exciting times.
PFA Player of the Year takes lap of honour
Bruno Fernandes is always going to be one of those players that divides opinion. Depending on your vantage point; he’s either the most productive midfielder in European football or a stat-padder deluxe. I tend to think he’s somewhere in between, a creative genius who wilts in the big games. But he was in merciless mode in Man United’s 5-2 win over Ipswich, netting a wonderful hat-trick before providing another textbook assist for Bryan Mbeumo. The Bruno haters can’t deny the numbers that he has been putting up these last few seasons. He just needs to replicate that form in the marquee fixtures (they host City in a few weeks). In any event, Michael Carrick will be delighted with the way his side fought back from a goal down to ignite their 2026/2027 campaign. Can they manage any more last-gasp transfers? Let’s wait and see.
Bayern light up Bundesliga
What the Bundesliga would do for a Leverkusen-style underdog story right now. It’s one match in, and I don’t see any hope of a title race. Vincent Kompany’s Bayern started their title defence in typically robust fashion on Friday night, massacring a talented Stuttgart side 5-1 at the Allianz Arena (the same Stuttgart side Bayern mauled 3-0 in last season’s DFB-Pokal final). Sebastian Hoeneß’s side came out the blocks well, with Tomas firing a gilt-edged chance over the crossbar in the 12th minute. Die Roten made Stuttgart pay, as Kimmich’s inch-perfect 21st minute corner was guided in by penalty-box colossus Upamecano. Stuttgart absorbed plenty of pressure and would remarkably find parity through a 52nd minute Vagnoman rocket. Bayern responded to that ‘setback’ as if they were Mike Tyson catching a jab from Baby Jake Matlala. Olise ghosted into the box to make it 2-1 while Vagnoman deflected the ball into his own net to make it 3-1 (a hero to zero moment). Exciting Moroccan Ismael Saibari showed his awesome potential with a dynamic half-hour cameo, laying on assists for Pavlovic and Diaz to complete the 5-1 shellacking.
Amorim rediscovers winning feeling
Amorim should have been left in the managerial wilderness for a few years following that Man United disasterclass. He managed to do the unthinkable during his tenure, washing away the stink of late-stage Ten Hag with his obstinate refusal to move away from his beloved 3-4-3 formation. But Italian football doesn’t shy away from depreciating assets and Ruben Amorim somehow found himself in charge of Italian uber-club AC Milan. And he has taken to life in Italy with aplomb, guiding AC Milan to back-to-back victories to start the Serie A campaign (the first Rossoneri manager to accomplish that since Inzaghi in 2014). Playing three at the back is part of the Italian footballing fabric and should better than it did in the more frenetically paced Premier League. Club-record signing Goncalo Ramos lit up the San Siro this past weekend, scoring on his home debut to signal the dawn of a new era for a club defined by their iconic centre-forwards (Van Basten, Inzaghi, Shevchenko, Ibra). Elsewhere, Inter and Juve continued their 100% records with respective wins over Caligari and Parma. Napoli supporters were introduced to the joys of Allegri-ball, as the Partnopei were outclassed by Fabregas’ Como in their first home game of the season. That is already looking like a potential match made in hell.
Real flex their might while Atletico stay in touching distance of city rivals
Jose Mourinho 2.0 is well and truly under way in Madrid. Los Blancos have gone into hyperdrive following their fidgety opening-day 2-1 win at Espanyol, winning 4-1 against Sociedad midweek before demolishing Malaga 4-0 yesterday. Jude Bellingham looks like a man on a Ballon d’Or mission this season, opening last night’s scoring with a gut-busting run and finish. Alfonso Herreo’s own-goal made it 2-0 for Los Blancos while Mbappe ensured a 3-0 halftime lead after a sharp close-range finish. Arda Guler applied the finishing touches in the closing moments of the match, tapping in from close range after some unselfish wing-play from Vini Jr. Trent gave Mourinho something to chew on, seizing his chance with an extremely productive outing down that right-hand side. City rivals Atletico did their part on Saturday night, temporarily going top of the log courtesy of a commanding 3-1 win at Sevilla. Diego Simeone understands the politics of a transfer saga, rallying his troops despite all the Alvarez hubbub. The game was effectively over with Atletico leading 3-0 at halftime, as Alex Baena and Ademola Lookman ran riot to leave the Ramón Sánchez-Pizjuán quiet as a crypt. You can only admire the way Simeone rolls with the punches and keeps this side as competitive as they are.
Player of the Week- Giovanni Branchini
Sure, I’m being a little facetious here. But with the transfer window just about to close, the agents have been working just as tirelessly behind the scenes as their clients have been on the field. Forget about Mino Raiola. In fact, you can even forget about Jerry Maguire. Giovanni Branchini has just pulled of the coup of agent coups, somehow masterminding a €10 million move for Gabriel Jesus to FC Barcelona! Wow. Jesus has barely featured for Arsenal these past few seasons, waylaid by injury while falling further down the striking pecking order. This piece of business will stand the test of time.
