And then there were two

And they would have been right, as both clubs comfortably booked passage to the final eight. The remaining clubs simply left themselves with too much to do. Having said that, there are ways to be eliminated from a knockout competition. City and Spurs managed to retain some dignity in departure, producing kernels of quality that they can use going forward. Chelsea and Newcastle endured some proper European trauma, creating unwanted records on their way out the door. Here is my personal ranking of the Premier League sides’ European performances this week.

6. Newcastle United lost 7-2 at Barcelona (lose 8-3 on aggregate)

This was cruel. Newcastle United acquitted themselves admirably for 75% of this round of 16 tie, trading blows with certified European footballing royalty. They were trailing Barca 3-2 at halftime, with Elanga, Barnes and Gordon offering a legitimate counterattacking threat. But the playground bully came out after the break as Barca started to flex their creative muscle. Barca were incredible in that 2nd stanza, with the attacking threats of Yamal, Raphinha, Lewandowski and Fermin too much for Newcastle to contain. Barcelona approached footballing nirvana in that 2nd period, recalling the free-flowing swagger of the MSN era. Lamine Yamal underlined his status as the greatest teenager the game has ever seen, becoming the youngest player to register ten goals in the history of the competition. As far as Newcastle are concerned, this was a sobering reminder of where they stand in the European pecking order. It also marked the heaviest loss by an English side in a Champions League match. Ouch.

5. Chelsea lost 3-0 at home to PSG (lose 8-2 on aggregate)

Chelsea’s FIFA Club World Cup victory feels like a distant memory now (Enzo Maresca must be watching this chaos with a grim sense of satisfaction). But in all seriousness, PSG have destroyed Chelsea over the two legs, doing some real damage to their much-vaunted European pedigree in the process. Georgian prince Khvicha Kvaratsikhelia got the ball rolling at Stamford Bridge, taking advantage of some indecisive defending from Mamadou Sarr before skillfully slotting the ball home. Bradley Barcola added to Chelsea’s utter misery in the 14th minute, beautifully finishing off from just inside the box to underline his burgeoning reputation. The men from the French capital completely outclassed the side from the English capital, with Senny Mayulu applying the finishing touches with a beautiful 2nd half finish. The 8-2 aggregate mauling was the worst in Chelsea’s European knockout history. Honestly, this must be one of the most chaotic, disjointed ‘top’ sides in recent memory. Lest we forget, this side dismantled Barcelona 3-0 in the league phase. This Boehly era is almost a return to the Vialli-Zola period of exciting, unfulfilled football.

4. Spurs won 3-2 at home to Atletico Madrid (lose 7-5 on aggregate)

Igor Tudor finally has something to work with. Spurs were in freefall a week ago, seemingly destined for relegation while also facing the ignominy of a humiliating Champions League exit. But a hard-fight domestic draw at Anfield seems to have instilled a sense of self-belief. And Tudor’s men gave everything last night, going toe-to-toe with Atletico to grind out a 3-2 win. Spurs looked so much more cohesive, with Xavi Simons and Archie Grey shining in their respective roles. Grey was particularly impressive when you consider how badly their midfield was overrun last week. He bossed the midfield battle in what was a true a-ha performance. Still, Spurs were always vulnerable and could never quite give themselves the breathing room to threaten Atletico’s lead. Every time they scored, Atletico would turn up the heat and get back in the game (it was almost as if the Spanish side were in 2nd gear at times). It was encouraging to see Xavi Simons in a roaming role where he was given a little more freedom (should have probably done that last week).

3. Man City lost 2-1 at home to Real Madrid (lose 5-1 in aggregate)

This was supposed to be the glamour tie for this year’s Round of 16 phase. City and Real have provided viewers with some of the most riveting nights in recent European football history. But Pep made huge tactical errors in that first-leg trip to Madrid, doing lasting damage to his ‘mastermind’ mystique while rendering this 2nd leg a bit of a foregone conclusion. This was always going to be an uphill task, but that task was made virtually impossible after Bernardo Silva received a 2nd yellow for moving his arm towards the ball on the goal-line. Vini Jr stepped up and converted the penalty, setting the stage for a proper humiliation. But City- to their credit- showed proper hutzpah to prevent that from happening. Haaland somehow bundled in an equalizer just before the break, giving the more optimistic City supporters a glimmer of hope. And City pushed after the break, salvaging some pride despite the numerical disadvantage. But Los Blancos would have the final say, as Vini Jr completed his brace in stoppage time to make it 2-1 on the night. Still, City somehow managed to have more chances and possession than Madrid despite being down to ten men for 70-odd minutes. That gives them the slight edge over Spurs.

2. Arsenal beat Bayer Leverkusen 2-0 at home (win 3-1 on aggregate)

Tuesday night was certainly mission accomplished for Mikel Arteta’s quad-chasing Gunners. They negotiated a nervy start before gradually seizing control of proceedings, turning a potentially awkward fixture into a comfortable night out. Ebrahim Eze broke the deadlock in the 36th minute, swivelling instinctively before launching an ICBM of a half-volley into the Leverkusen net. Eze’s detached, laconic celebration hinted at a cheeky arrogance that has been sorely lacking in Arteta’s side in previous campaigns. Arsenal had a vice-like grip on the tie from that moment on and would double their lead in the 63rd minute. Declan Rice was the man who gave them that breathing space, scoring a goal so textbook-Rice that it could have constructed by AI (he picked up a loose ball in midfield, drove into space, then tucked the ball away into the corner). This Arsenal machine just keeps on going.

1. Liverpool beat Galatasaray 4-0 at home (win 4-1 on aggregate)

I’ll say it once and I’ll say it again; never underestimate Liverpool in European competition. They have been an utter shambles in their Premier League title defence, with Slot’s job constantly scrutinized by their increasingly ruthless fanbase (who have turned into Madridistas during the Dutchman’s reign). But there’s just something mystical about European nights at Anfield. And Liverpool gave one of their most coherent attacking performances of the season last night, overcoming a 1-0 first-leg deficit with a swashbuckling 4-0 win. Four different players found their way onto the scoresheet, but it was much-maligned playmaker Florian Wirtz who impressed me the most. He was at his impudent best, going on mazy runs and dissecting Galatasaray with defence-splitting passes (he had a hand in the 2nd, 3rd and 4th goals). I can’t wait for their quarterfinal clash with PSG.