Remember when the Premier League sides were amassing 16 points during the league phase matches? Times have changed.
The Premier League sides endured a torrid time in this week’s Round of 16 first-leg matches, managing two draws and four defeats in a humbling advertisement for the English game. Moreover, three sides appear to have played themselves completely out of contention. Many- Arsenal fans excluded- have decried the lack of quality in this year’s Premier League title race. On this evidence, they may have a point. Without further ado, here is my ranking- from worst to best- of all the English sides in action this week (it makes for rather grim reading).
6. Spurs lost 5-2 at Atletico Madrid
Spurs fans must be wondering what they did in their previous lives to deserve this. Spurs hurtle from one indignity to another while bitter North London rivals Arsenal stand on the precipice of greatness. Faced with the very real prospect of Premier League relegation, Spurs needed a solid showing at Atletico to help stem the bleeding. But they imploded in frankly embarrassing fashion, going 4-0 down in the most calamitous 22-minute spell you are ever likely to see. Igor Tudor thought it was a great idea to give keeper Antonin Kinksy his maiden Champions League start at the notoriously rowdy Metropolitano Stadium. The keeper gave arguably the worst goalkeeping performance in Champions League history, committing two howlers before being unceremoniously yanked off in the 17th minute (great for the old confidence). Spurs managed to claw back some respectability through goals from Pedro Porro and Dominic Solanke. But the damage was done. Igor Tudor deserves all the blame for this fiasco. He should never have given Kinsky his first start and should have trusted in the likes of Simmons, Solanke and Gallagher (Gallagher recently played for Atletico and understands the atmosphere). This was Tudor-era football from a club in rapid descent.
5. Manchester City lost 3-0 at Real Madrid
Pep Guardiola was at his overthinking worst last night, losing 3-0 against a Real Madrid side missing the likes of Mbappe and Rodrygo. Guardiola took a bold gamble, starting with an unusually attacking lineup that featured Haaland, Savio, Doku and Semenyo. He obviously felt that Real- with all their injury drama- were there for the taking. But City were soon overrun on transition, with Federico Valevrede transforming into prime CR7 to score a magnificent first-half hat-trick. City were shellshocked and barely had a response in the 2nd half, failing to create anything despite bouts of useless possession. Donnarumma had to bail them out of an even bigger hole, saving a Vini Jr spot-kick that would have made the tie unassailable. As it stands, City will need a minor miracle to keep their European dream alive.
4. Chelsea lost 5-2 at PSG
Of all the three-goal defeats this week, at least Chelsea went toe-to-toe for large portions of their match. They looked comfortable for the first 70 minutes at the Parc des Princes, twice coming back from behind against reigning European champions PSG. Enzo was dynamic in the no.10 role, scoring Chelsea’s 2nd and remaining a goal threat throughout. But Liam Rosenior pulled a bit of an Igor Tudor last night, bringing in the relatively untested Flip Jorgensen in for Robin Sanchez. And he produced a Kinsky-level howler, allowing Vitinha to score PSG’s 3rd after a shocking pass. To be fair, he did make some solid saves throughout. Kvaratskhelia then took centre stage, taking advantage of a visibly tiring Chelsea side to score two late daggers. It was a bitter end to what was- for large parts- such an eye-catching away performance.
3. Liverpool lost 1-0 at Galatasaray
Galatasaray’s old Al Sami Yen Stadium was the stuff of footballing folklore, widely regarded as one of the most intimidating away trips in all European football (welcome to hell and all that jazz). Some of the old-world blood and thunder has been ironed out of thus trip since the moves to Rams Park in 2011. But the Turks were in great spirit on Tuesday night, as Galatasaray managed to beat Liverpool 1-0 for the 2nd time this season. The Turkish side should really be taking a bigger advantage back to the 2nd leg at Anfield. Mario Lemina gave Galatasaray the ideal start, catching Liverpool napping with a bullet header in the 7th minute. The first half was an end-to-end affair, with Florian Wirtz wasting several opportunities while Giorgi Mamardashvili bailed them out at the other end. The 2nd half saw VAR come to the fore, as both Galatasaray and Liverpool had goals disallowed in marginal situations. All in all, Slot will probably feel quite chuffed at taking 1-0 back to Anfield (especially when Mo Salah was such an anonymous presence).
2. Arsenal draw 1-1 at Bayer Leverkusen
Bayer Leverkusen ended Arsenal’s perfect eight-match European winning streak with a hard-fought 1-1 home draw. But Kasper Hjulmand and his team must be incensed at the way that Arsenal snatched that last-minute equalizer. The first half was an absolute snoozefest, with Martinelli smashing the ball into the crossbar to prevent total catatonia. Leverkusen started to ask more questions in the 2nd half and were soon rewarded, with Robert Andrich heading in from a corner to give the Gunners a taste of their own medicine. Bukayo Saka had a rare shocker and Arteta responded in proactive fashion, yanking him off and introducing Noni Madueke around the hour mark. Madueke changed the game, using his direct running to put Leverkusen on the back foot. And his in-your-face style would lead to the contentious equalizer, as Malik Tillman was adjudged to have fouled the Arsenal man in the dying moments of the game. But that was an obvious dive, and VAR surely had to step in there. Or else, what’s the point? Former Leverkusen idol Kai Havertz provided the final poetic touches, equalizing from the spot to give Arsenal a clear advantage going back to the Emirates. But Leverkusen fans must have been livid.
1. Newcastle drew 1-1 at home to FC Barcelona
Yes, I know, Arsenal stand a much better chance of qualification following this week’s results. But there’s no denying that Newcastle were the standout English side in this week’s action. This match encapsulated Newcastle’s entire campaign. They were exceptional against Flick’s Barcelona, constantly exposing their high press while nullifying the attacking threats of Lewandowski and Yamal. But they were left to rue a raft of missed chances. Newcastle were electrifying in the first half, but Elanga and Osula both lacked killer instinct in front of goal. Still, Newcastle continued to press and eventually did force a deserved breakthrough in the 86th minute, as Harvey Barnes latched onto an excellent ball from Jacob Murphy to send St James Park into delirium. But Howe’s side suffered yet another lapse in judgement, as the rock-solid Malick Thiaw upended Dani Olmo in the dying moments of the game. Lamine Yamal- who had been pocketed by a sensational Lewis Hall all night- stepped up to equalize from the spot. It was a cruel twist of fate that leaves the Magpies with a mountain to climb at the Nou Camp. Still, they did outplay one of the best sides in Europe.
